The failing and dishonest media falsely claimed that Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita eliminated himself from the Olympics with his own penis after this video emerged:



That would be unfortunate if it happened, but it didn't. In the video, you can tell that Ogita knocks the bar off with his leg, and if you took five minutes to look at the Olympic pole vault results, you'd see that Ogita cleared that height and the next one before he was eliminated. Even if the penis caused the miss, which it didn't, it wouldn't have knocked him out of the Olympics.

That didn't stop my enemies in the blogging game from running headlines like:

"A Pole Vaulter's Penis Ended His Olympic Dream" (Vice)
"Japanese pole vaulter's penis gets in his way at Olympics" (New York Daily News)
"The only time a man wishes he had a SMALLER penis!" (The Daily Mail)
"Pole vaulter has Olympic bid sabotaged by his own penis" (The Daily Dot)
"Inconvenient Penis Is A Huge Problem For Japanese Pole Vaulter Hiroki Ogita In Rio" (Huffington Post)
"Pole vaulter's penis gets in the way of his Olympic dreams" (Mashable)
"JAPANESE POLE VAULTER: HOISTED BY MY OWN PENIS" (TMZ)
"When Poles Collide: Olympic Vaulter Hiroki Ogita's Unlikely Downfall" (Queerty)
"Japanese pole vaulter dislodges bar with penis, watches Olympic dreams shrivel" (Sporting News)
"Olympic Pole Vaulter Tries to Clear Bar, Big Ol' Dick Gets in the Way" (GQ)
"Penis crushes pole vaulter's Olympic dream" (New York Post)

The pole vault Olympic results are literally on Wikipedia and were being updated in real time. As we pointed out at the time, those are bad blogs. Sad.