(Parts 1 and 2 are on my blog, link at bottom of page)
2k left of the national meet and my legs had gone to rubber. The whole entire race was a blur to that point due to an unforgiving pace and a field of the nation’s best. By this time I had set myself up for an All American spot but really didn’t care because finishing was the bigger goal at the moment. On top of that, I was sitting right at the magical place of 39 and knew a whole group of guys were gunning for this spot. My mind was racing faster than it seemed my legs were and a years’ worth of worry was fluttering through my thoughts and resting upon my shoulders. The nausea one gets right before the gun goes off was settling back in and I came to realize that the race was just beginning.
Nothing before the date of November 21st, 2011 no longer mattered. Childhood goals and high school medals won were now sitting in the corner of a hallway closet behind jackets and Christmas wrapping paper because all they are is the past. Sure, they are a friendly reminder of the constant grind but they only possess a material image that cannot accomplish anything for me now. Once I stepped on to the UT campus, everything that was achieved was wiped off the plate because no one cares anymore. And this isn’t a saddening fact or a depressed moment; it’s just reality and how things are. I am a freshman once again and therefore everything is about the future; the choices that are still to be made and no longer the yesterday or the mistakes that I lived through. The last 2k on that Indiana course proved just this. In that, up until that point I had run my race and then I opened my eyes to see that the goal I had always dreamed about was sitting in front of me and all I had to do was drive harder than I ever have before. Nothing in my past compared to the pain I felt in those last 6 minutes and nothing will ever compare again until I step on that line next year and you better believe that everything accomplished to that day will no longer matter once again. The only thing that is of concern to a runner when the gun ignites is what kind of animal he will be that day and will he go beyond a barrier that his past has never seen?
Once I hit the finish line, I fell into the arms of a race volunteer and my mind went completely blank. Everything I lived for since my middle school years had been accomplished and I had held on to my All American status for the last stretch of the course. Everything that had been going through my head went to only one idea of just staying on my feet and the screams of the people around me meant nothing but a constant hum. Once I was done, I laid in the finish chute for a while ignoring the workers who were trying to move me and occasionally nodding my head to say I was still alive. Eventually I got up and staggered out to my team as we embraced to the success of being the eleventh best team in the nation. Nothing in the past mattered anymore because the things that were attained that day was and is the new past as we drive to better ourselves tomorrow. I’m not saying we won’t be forever proud of what November 21st, 2011 meant to us and especially the seniors on the team but we made a step in a new direction and we can’t just sit and reflect because this is a sport of moving forward.
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 3:12-14
Craig Lutz
University of Texas Athlete
http://craiglutzblogapalooza.blogspot.com/
2k left of the national meet and my legs had gone to rubber. The whole entire race was a blur to that point due to an unforgiving pace and a field of the nation’s best. By this time I had set myself up for an All American spot but really didn’t care because finishing was the bigger goal at the moment. On top of that, I was sitting right at the magical place of 39 and knew a whole group of guys were gunning for this spot. My mind was racing faster than it seemed my legs were and a years’ worth of worry was fluttering through my thoughts and resting upon my shoulders. The nausea one gets right before the gun goes off was settling back in and I came to realize that the race was just beginning.
Nothing before the date of November 21st, 2011 no longer mattered. Childhood goals and high school medals won were now sitting in the corner of a hallway closet behind jackets and Christmas wrapping paper because all they are is the past. Sure, they are a friendly reminder of the constant grind but they only possess a material image that cannot accomplish anything for me now. Once I stepped on to the UT campus, everything that was achieved was wiped off the plate because no one cares anymore. And this isn’t a saddening fact or a depressed moment; it’s just reality and how things are. I am a freshman once again and therefore everything is about the future; the choices that are still to be made and no longer the yesterday or the mistakes that I lived through. The last 2k on that Indiana course proved just this. In that, up until that point I had run my race and then I opened my eyes to see that the goal I had always dreamed about was sitting in front of me and all I had to do was drive harder than I ever have before. Nothing in my past compared to the pain I felt in those last 6 minutes and nothing will ever compare again until I step on that line next year and you better believe that everything accomplished to that day will no longer matter once again. The only thing that is of concern to a runner when the gun ignites is what kind of animal he will be that day and will he go beyond a barrier that his past has never seen?
Once I hit the finish line, I fell into the arms of a race volunteer and my mind went completely blank. Everything I lived for since my middle school years had been accomplished and I had held on to my All American status for the last stretch of the course. Everything that had been going through my head went to only one idea of just staying on my feet and the screams of the people around me meant nothing but a constant hum. Once I was done, I laid in the finish chute for a while ignoring the workers who were trying to move me and occasionally nodding my head to say I was still alive. Eventually I got up and staggered out to my team as we embraced to the success of being the eleventh best team in the nation. Nothing in the past mattered anymore because the things that were attained that day was and is the new past as we drive to better ourselves tomorrow. I’m not saying we won’t be forever proud of what November 21st, 2011 meant to us and especially the seniors on the team but we made a step in a new direction and we can’t just sit and reflect because this is a sport of moving forward.
"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 3:12-14
Craig Lutz
University of Texas Athlete
http://craiglutzblogapalooza.blogspot.com/
Categories: blog
Go Craig!!