Track and Field Blogs - Stefan Fogleman

Recently I read an article on flotrack about Chris Lukezic retiring from his running career. I admire him very much for knowing when to move on with his life when something no longer makes him happy. Everyone must do what makes them happy and shouldn't perform solely to impress others or live up to expectations. This article got me to thinking, why do I run? Why do I wake up early every single morning and run? Why do I put myself through the pains of running that not only hurt physically, but can break you down mentally? Why do I, of all runners, continue training hard when I by no means enjoy running? There have been countless days where I was within inches of quitting and just moving on with some other form of physical activity. So I must ask myself, "Is it really worth it for me to keep running?" Is making the xc and or track team at Chico State really that important of a goal to me?" Yes, running is a healthy activity, and I will never stop running. I'm just not 100% sure if I want to continue to compete at the college level. I feel like the only reason I keep running sometimes is to show that I don't give up on things. But honestly, who I am trying to impress? I should run for myself, and myself only. And as of late, I honestly have not had that inner fire to continue working hard every day. I can't get excited for races, and I can't focus on running. I dread practice everyday and going to practice just puts me in a bad mood which affects other aspects of my life. I want to focus more on school, my other hobby's, work part time, etc. Running often times interrupts other aspects of my life and drives me crazy sometimes. On the other end of the continuum, I have at times been fiercely competitive and very motivated to train / run hard. This is what keeps me going. Those visions of previous glory tell me that I may have what it takes to be a successful collegiate runner and I may be able to enjoy this. So after these next few weeks of xc training and during my break, I will have to spend some serious time rethinking why I run and if it really is worth the effort.

In short: I love the competition and that may be all that keeps me going...