Track and Field Blogs - Ryan Hall

On a run a couple of days ago I found myself laughing at Kai (our miniature Siberian Husky) as she tore off through the woods in hot pursuit of yet another squirrel, only to be left at the bottom of the tree peering up as the hotly tempered squirrel rattled off some explicits in its native tongue. I thought to myself, 'why does she keep wasting her energy flying after squirrels when she has chased thousands of squirrels during her short life, yet never, ever, even been close to catching one?' But as I contemplated her spirit I realized that our spirits aren't really any different. I have been trying to run with the best runners in the world ever since I was able to enter the same race in which they were competing, and while I have never won a race that would give the honor of being crowned "the best in the world," I still find myself tearing off after the world beaters as if I have never been unsuccessful in beating them. When I watch Kai's eyes as she spots a Squirrel I can see her come to attention as I though I put a fat sausage in front of her nose and then I see her wheels turning. I know exactly what she is thinking because I have thought the same thing a million times, "I am going after it." Then the trigger is pulled and we are off to the races. I think this is what Coach Vegil means when he says that all that matters on the starting line is having big eyes. I love that saying. All that matters on race day is being ready to go after it, to go to war.

What I love about "chasing squirrels" is that it doesn't matter what your previous track record is, all that matters is that moment. Your past is completely behind you and the present is your opportunity to "take a swing". If you can't tell by now, I am a big fan of "taking a swing." I don't like to go away from races knowing that I didn't leave my mark on the race by really going after it at some point. If I die, I die. I have died many times before, however, what I have learned to do very well over the years is simply to get up. My favorite verse in the Bible comes from Proverbs 24.16 and says, "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again." Being an Olympian is not about being perfect it is about picking yourself up out of the dirt and pouring yourself back into what you are doing, as if you never fell before.

I love the story of Noah Ngeny. I have to admit that I was rooting for Hicham El Guerrouj to win the 1500m in the 2000 Olympic games, but I was captivated by the fact that though Noah had raced El Guerrouj a number of times (I believe twelve times) he had never beaten him before until the final of the Olympic 1500m. It would be easy to say that El Guerrouj "had his number", but none of that mattered on race day because Noah wasn't running with a broken spirit, as a defeated man would. That day he ran as if he had never lost to El Guerrouj, and when push came to shove in the last 100 meters of the race Noah's spirit was strong and he was able to do something he had never been able to do before. Noah had been beaten numerous times, but apparently he had never been defeated in spirit.

When I am all done with my career I plan to cross the finish line of the marathon take off my shoes at the finish and walk away having never been defeated. Not in the since that I will have never lost a marathon, but in the sense that no matter how bad I have been beaten, my competitors will know that I will always show up to the starting line with fire in my eyes, ready for war, with a spirit that cannot be defeated.

I haven't always had this spirit. It is something that I have had to feed throughout the years. With every poor performance I have grown stronger as I have picked myself up and gotten back up. This is not to say that I wasn't rattled by poor performances, actually it has been very difficult for me to deal with disappointment but dealing with it, and coming out the other end, is what overcoming is all about. My wife knows well how rattled I can get in the hours and days after a bad competition, it can be hard to deal with "failure" when I have so much invested in the sport I love. But knowing now, that I can deal with whatever is thrown my way gives me the courage I need to be bold and courageous out on the race coarse and to "take my swing", because I know that in my heart of hearts I can deal with the disappointment of coming up short and I know that, though it may take me awhile to collect myself, I will be back out there with fire in my eyes. I am going to "take my swing" at some point in the Olympic Marathon, and it might result in gold and it might result in a lot of suffering and pain over the later stages of the race, but one thing I know for sure: I will walk away from the finish line satisfied that I wasn't, and will never be, defeated.