Track and Field Blogs - Yolanda Flamino

As I write, I'm sitting in the lobby of the Sheraton Boston, where we are staying for the Women's Olympic Marathon Trials. It is the day before the race and I am trying to casually think about the race, while containing my nerves, excitement, and energy, as I'm sure I'll need all I can sequester for tomorrow.

There are a lot of hard things about marathon training, but sometimes I wonder if the taper isn’t the hardest part for a lot of people. One becomes so accustomed to long and hard efforts, that general underlying fatigue becomes a welcome friend. Fatigue is a constant companion that offers the quiet reassurance that you are logging the necessary miles, running appropriately fast, and putting in the hard work that racing 26.2 miles requires. It becomes so familiar that you may personalize it and wonder, “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Give me some space.” But, you simultaneously seek to hold onto it, as it is a physical and mental validation that you are on track to that rewarding PR. You know eventually you’ll need to part ways, if the relationship is to truly work. However, once it is gone, you are left wondering if it wasn’t part of you that left, as for 12 weeks, you have, in large part, defined yourself by miles, splits, and exhaustion.

Like a messy break-up, you can easily begin to question yourself, wondering if you should have done something differently, did you not do enough, did you do too much? You miss the familiar, wondering “should I have kept that fatigue around?…it wasn’t good for me, but it was oddly comforting.” It’s easy enough to reassure yourself that you are better off without the fatigue, but you may be left wondering if when it left, did it confiscate some of your fitness? Of course, this is ridiculous as fatigue isn’t vindictive. It too knows you both need this separation and in a time you will come running back into its welcoming, familiar arms. And, each time you do, the bond is that much stronger.

Well, enough with a bad, half-made analogy…that’s part of my taper troubles, too. I haven’t slept very well the past few nights so my once semi-imaginative brain is feeling a little sluggish. That’s one of the great mysteries of the taper…how can you do less and be well rested, yet feel so odd, so out of sync? I have come to enjoy this feeling…knowing that my body never loves going through a taper, but reaps its benefits on race day. Any strangeness leaves with the lone gun shot ringing through the crisp air of race morning. The strange mix of sluggishness and energy, the phantom aches, the holding yourself back on runs…it has all become an enjoyable part of the taper for me, since it is a sign that I am doing what I should. So, while I once embraced the fatigue, I am now enjoying the awkward flirtations of the taper, especially since I know it will be gone in less than a day.