Fatima Yvelain, a French woman you've likely never heard of, used to be fast. Back in 2000 she made the French Olympic Team in the 10,000m and set an impressive personal best of 31:43.29. But this isn't meant to be a history lesson in formerly fast French folk. No, this is much better.

Back in June she tested positive for EPO after a post-race drug test following the conclusion of a half marathon in Perpignan, France. When asked why she tested positive, instead of fessing up, she offered a very humorous ruse: she reported heavy rains on the day, and that the rain water must have washed over hidden medical waste that then splashed over her privates and even made contact with her urine! Thus contaminating her sample.

Oddly enough the French Athletics Federation didn't believe her and instead of forking over her €400 in prize money, they slapped her with a two year competition ban. A truly disheartening sentence for the cantankerous 43 year old.

Though it's hard to wrap my head around Fatima Yvelain--whose competitive running career was over long before her modest 1:20:20 effort in that half marathon--doing drugs, it's at least good to take away that people are getting caught for this stuff, even if it's at the local elite level.

Sources: Doping: Fatima Yvelain tested positive for EPO
              Best Doping Excuse Ever?