By definition an asterisk is: A star-shaped figure (*) used chiefly to indicate an omission, a reference to a footnote, or an unattested word, sound, or affix. Lets use it in a sentence. “He makes me think of an asterisk.” In the last few years, the asterisk has taken on a life of its own. From posters, T-shirts, to television shows, this symbol has become a bit of a celebrity in itself. When I see a shirt with the asterisk, the message is clear, then I think how sad it must be for all those other shirts like comma, parentheses or apostrophe that just never had a chance to show what they could do. They’re just too overused and rarely at the heart of controversy. My concern with the asterisk, and even more so lately, is that it’s going to make its way over to the world of running. I am of course making reference to any one of the thousands of local 5k/10k races that are organized every weekend in this country, what else? Halloween is on its way so you are bound to have a few big draw names like “The Spooktacular Halloween Run”, “Its the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown Run”, and “Run Like Hell to Hell and Back…Run” to name a few. With prizes continually increasing in value like gas prices, these races are all business for the lead packs. Long gone are the days of a ribbon and a pat on the back, now competitors vie for 2 night fiesta fun cruises, complete matching warm up gear/sneaker combos, and endless Moons Over My Hammy coupons from Denny’s. The stakes are high, and there’s no governing body to keep cheaters from stealing the candy! I mean seriously, where is my $25 entry fee going? Can we get a few random pre-race drug tests on people obviously running outside of their means? I’m specifically talking to that guy who walked me down in the last 200 Meters of the Venice 5K. You know who you are, pushing the twin baby stroller, wearing Adidas cross trainers and that crappy race day long sleeved cotton disaster of a shirt while the Shitzu running by your side throws little fluffy white dog curse words at me. You can have my medal and my free 30-minute tanning session for 2nd place in the men’s 30-35 group. I’d rather have the 3rd place prize of one tube of Head On. I can apply it directly to my forehead to help ease the pain. Now I’ve never been one for performance enhancing drugs, proof in my lack of performance, but if professional sports and TV have taught me anything, its that large scale immediate gains which put you leagues ahead of your peers are easily explained with the magical elixir of flaxseed oil. Better known as “The Clear” and even better known as THG. If I could safely purchase THG or “The Clear” on EBay (the seller would need to have great feedback of course), pay for it securely with my Paypal account, and have it shipped to me in a timely manner, I wouldn’t be so against giving it a shot. I would of course also need proof that it won’t cause me cancer, (unlike my cell phone that can distort a TV from 10 meters away), and won’t cause me to gain 40 pounds of weight in only my shoulders and thighs. What do I have to lose? Isn’t this what technology is for? Well, not really but just for fun lets consider our evolution on a tiny scale. We as humans are continually getting faster. In 1852 Charles Westhall had the world record in the mile at 4:28, it took 102 years to knock 29 seconds off that and hit 3:59 with Roger Bannister. This is about .28 seconds improvement per year in the pre 4-minute mile era. 47 years after this, another 16 seconds are gone and we sit at 3:43 thanks to Hicham El Guerrouj and a whole slew of guys to lead him there. This is about .34 seconds per year in a more difficult era to improve. Why? There are more reasons than worth mentioning, but for the sake of the article, modern science has made huge gains in the last 50 years. Improvements in food, medicine, and general health care are significant reasons for the continual breaking of world records at numerous distances. All of these scientific gains at one point could have been considered performance enhancing. If we can figure out a way to safely improve human achievement why not use it. I’m absolutely not condoning the use of a substance that’s banned, that’s cheating, especially when no one else is using it. I am however questioning the excessively strict standards of banning substances that cause no long-term harm and help the cause of human evolution. If an apple is found growing in the Himalayas that increases cardio capacity by 25% overnight, maybe we should give it a chance. I’d love to see a sub 2 Hour marathon before I die. The truth is, one day after the Great War between Cylon robots and humans (who wins I’m not sure) many of us will be fitted with partially mechanical, more efficient body parts by force or choice (again depending). These parts will have one purpose…life enhancing. Naturally, performance will increase as well in our sport of choice. Where will the line be drawn then? Let us not be biased to our future CYBORG athletes; instead embrace the dawn of a new man! I for one would like titanium joints, they're lightweight, don't rust and come with a lifetime warranty. By the time all this goes down, asterisks will long be forgotten, and no stroller will ever roll past me again. If you are interested in the history of mile records goto, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_record_progression_for_the_mile_run. If you are interested in the Great Robot War, watch Battlestar Galactica. -Nate