Two months ago today, I was probably at my lowest of lows in terms of marathon preporation and moral. I had just come back from my first bout of altitude training and was feeling as expected for my first few days down at sea level in Huntington Beach, CA- lathargic and heavy. However, this was perfectly alright with me, considering how much time I had until January 14th. Feeling sluggish comes with the territory. It comes- and hopefully goes- with proper rest and recovery. I was just happy that my sciatica was calmed down and I had no major setbacks aside from tired legs.

Of course, all of that changed the day before I was leaving to go back to Flagstaff for another month of training. My sciatica flaired up, and this time I was certain that I would not have enough time to get it settled down. I knew I couldn't afford to take substantial time off if I wanted to be competitive at the Olympic Trials. To top it all off, it all happened on the 4 year anniversary of my brother, Ryan's, passing at the 2007 Olympic Trials. I started to break down. I felt an overwhelming amount of pressure build up, and I distinctly remember actually feeling quite sorry for myself.

Luckily, my girlfriend was running with me that evening on my recovery run and assured me that things would work out. I crawled in the back of Caprice's Ford Explorer, put the seats down, and literally curled up into a ball while she drove me home; well at least that's what I thought she was doing. Instead, she did the one thing that she knew could possibly get my spirits back up- drove me straight to Sprinkles to get me a peanut butter chocolate chip cupcake.

After Caprice nursed me back to health, I decided to make the trip back to Flagstaff the next day. I was trying mightily to keep my spirits up- even after deciding the previous night that I would tell my renter, Mike Smith, that there was no possible way I could make it to Flagstaff. Sparing the "Rocky" comeback story, I am now healthy and my training has been about as good as I could have hoped for since early November. Two things kept me from what I thought was an inevitable emotional and physical downward spiral: Caprice, and knowing that my brother would not have given up without doing everything he could to toe the line on January 14th. I used to think that the only way to truly honor Ryan and show everyone what he taught me- both as a role model and brother- was to finish near the top in every race I entered. As I mature as a person and runner, I now see the importance of competing for myself... not for a shoe contract... not for prize money... and certainly not for a piece of hardware.

People say that it's not about the training, but what you can do on race day. I have always been a firm believer in this. However, in dealing with injuries and set backs, I now understand that doing the little things in training and not taking shortcuts is what allows athletes to get to the starting line in top shape. This realization has helped me enjoy the preparation process for the Olympic Trials marathon. Regardless of how the race pans out, I know that I didn't take shortcuts. I also know that I have honored Ryan by doing everything I can to make sure I toe the line and give all I have on race day. That is what I intend to do on January 14th.


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